Steady

Guest Blogger: Brenda Clayton

Intended Audience: Faith Communities & General Public

*Trigger Warning: Religious Speech/ Scriptures

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." - Galatians 5: 16-25

What do you think of when you think of the word steady? Possibly a steady beat or a steady rhythm? Maybe something that is well secured and grounded? Some may think something that is not off balance. Right? What image or images comes to mind? I envision rocks on the seashore taking the constant hit of large waves over and over again. They are continuously pounded, yet they don’t budge; they are steady.

While in my prayer time recently this word steady keeps popping up while I journal. I am going through so many transitions in my life. That in itself makes me feel unsteady. Then on top of my own personal life, I see and hear so much that is unsteady around me. I simply open my phone and all the noise and chaos comes pounding at me. The news or social media platforms give me concern. I could ride the waves of emotions as I watch people’s actions and hear people's ugly and offensive words.

In the past I have gone through some frustrating times that have been stressful and there has been heartache. My feelings had me all over the place with my emotions; with my actions to follow. I would allow anger to get its grip on me or despair wreck my emotions. Thoughts would keep me preoccupied and entangled. There were even times of feeling vulnerable and paranoid. I was a mess. I’d pray for circumstances to change - if God would just change the other person and let them see where they are at fault. If things would just lighten up at work, I could take a breath or two. Could I just get a break from all the responsibilities on me? If God would just make things more clear for me so I wouldn't feel as though I was guessing all the time. I would ride those waves of emotions- up and down, up and down. I didn’t realize life didn’t have to be lived on emotional waves. I felt that this was the way God made me, so this was how it was going to be for me.

One day I was listening to a podcast and heard the speaker say how I shouldn’t depend on my emotions. That it probably would be a guarantee that if I feel it, I should probably do the opposite. I got so angry, I turned off the podcast and fumed. Ignore my emotions? Don’t allow myself to feel? Impossibly. You can’t just turn off your feelings.

As God would have it, He was working on me. It started by getting my attention with the podcast. He was gently working on me. Slowly, I began to have more clarity around what the podcast was saying. I was beginning to understand that I have feelings and emotions, but those feelings and emotions are not what helped me make wise decisions and respond to life’s waves. My emotions do not have to dictate me. Please note, not to get feelings confused with intuition. Intuition is something that gives me keen awareness of things or situations around me and how I am to respond. Intuition can keep me safe and allow me to be aware of danger or threats and know how to respond. Feelings are loose and unpredictable. Cry one moment, laugh the next. I have done it.

Not long after listening to the podcast, I began praying that God would help me with my rash responses to things. I would try to bite my tongue and not say everything I was thinking. I would work really hard to have the right attitude toward others and to not get frustrated with my circumstances. Unfortunately, I would wind up a mess all over again. I would stay steady for a while and then be thrown off-kilter. But why? I was praying and I was really trying. Finally, when I began to quiet myself long enough to hear a response to my question, God laid Scripture out before me. Galatians 5:16-25 was blaring at me. I couldn't do this on my own! With only the work of the Holy Spirit could I begin to change. The Lord’s work in me would have to counsel and guide me. Not only was He able to change me, He was willing to change me.

With not fully understanding yet what all that meant, I began to lean in on the Lord with the big stuff as well as the small things. And sure enough, He was there to steady my thoughts, my words, as well as my responses. I knew it was Him at work in me and through me when the situation would pass and I would walk through it again in my head knowing that my way of thinking and dealing with the situation would not have been the way I would have handled it in the past. The Spirit was beginning to intercede and began to change me and help me. I was beginning to experience what faith is, and what it looked like to walk along this life with His Spirit to guide and to steady me. I was learning to depend on Him daily, moment by moment. He began to transform me more and more into His likeness (2 Corinthians 3:18). All the answers didn’t have to be revealed at once and everyone around me didn’t have to cooperate with my expectations.

So much is still unsteady and waves slam up against me. Yet, as I am growing in my faith, the Lord is focusing my eyes on Him and the things around are not as burdensome as they were years ago. If I do begin to feel off-balanced, I pray for the Lord to steady me and to give me wisdom to walk in a way that is pleasing to Him. I can trust that I am right where the Lord wants me. I can keep in step with the Spirit because I am steady.

Brenda Clayton has been in education for 20 years. Recently she has left the classroom to pursue a different career and has begun taking classes in Visual Arts. She and her family have lived in Easley, South Carolina for 17 years. She is involved in her church and is privileged to be a part of some local ministries, sharing her gifts and talents with others.

Check out more of Brenda's stuff or connect with her at https://www.inretrospect.info/

All photography on this blog post is Brenda Clayton's.